Citizensand citizens, companions in the fight against tax savagery, listen to the saga that is unfolding like a farce in the streets of our beloved metropolis! Commander Vanazzi, the Che of taxes, the Fidel of finances, in his most recent cartographic revolution, decreed: “Until the victory of the IPTU!”
In a meeting more charged with suspense than a nine o’clock soap opera, the mayor, flanked by his faithful henchmen – the Secretary General of the Government, the Superintendent of Urban Planning and the emissary of digital maps –, raised his pen like someone wielding a Cuban cigar and proclaimed the beginning of the geoprocessing era. “If you move forward,” he must have whispered, “if not, go back to adjust the property tax.”
Geoprocessing, this surveillance tool that not even Orwell dared to imagine, promises to map every inch of our cemented existence. “If you tremble with indignation at injustice, then we are comrades”and we tremble, oh yes, in the face of this tax injustice that maps us, measures us and taxes us!
Oh, and what about PEC 45/2019? This fiscal coup d’état that allows our dear leader to adjust the IPTU “with the smoothness of an elephant in a china shop”. If it is changed in December 2023, the Municipal Mayor will have the power to change the IPTU Plan without having to go through the City Council, leaving the taxpayer at the total mercy of the Municipal Executive who will be armed with satellite mapping…
It was approved while distracted people debated whether the Earth is flat or not, leaving our mayor to repeat with gusto: “The true revolutionary is guided by great feelings of love… for public money.”
Prepare yourselves, as every undeclared addition to your homes will be a revolutionary focus discovered and taxed.
Vanazzi, in his infinite wisdom as a tax strategist, is about to launch his new motto: “Be realistic, ask for an increase in property tax!”
And so, as our Fiscal Commander prepares his mapping drones, like the bearded men prepared themselves in the Sierra Maestra, he reminds us: “The true revolutionary is guided by great feelings of… income!”
Every garden, every pool, every balcony, now under the all-seeing eye of the satellite, will contribute to the great cause: fundraising without borders.
When the IPTU booklet knocks on your door, remember Che’s immortal words: “I’d rather die standing up, than live on my knees… in front of the property tax bill.”
And as we pay, let us dream of the day when we will say: “Until victory, always… against the increase in IPTU!”
Therefore, raise your voices, not your flags – paint is more expensive – and march against this tax wave that threatens us. Always remember, comrades: in the fight against rising property taxes, the only defeat is not fighting.
Our weapon will be a smile in front of the booklet and a cry in our hearts:
“Long live the tax revolution!
*Text Inspired by the article on the ABC Mais portal, which announces the advent of satellite mapping of São Leopoldo, we visualize a new horizon.
